Nameinuse Productions

Like Eastwood said, We all got it coming, kid. But this post isn’t meant to be funny. I’ve never really been confronted with death, and recently we went to visit Raeanne’s grandmother who has cancer. She’s going to die…soon; so we went to visit before this happened, and I didn’t really know what to do. Death doesn’t frighten me, it just leaves me nervous and sad. I’m sure it’s meant to do that, but this was the first time I noticed it’s full effects. The visit happened over the fourth of July weekend and Raeanne’s sister Natalie surprised us by flying up with our nephew to also be with grandma. Natalie is six months pregnant and has a 2 year old son Gavin; It was stark contrast at every moment. Grandma sitting in the living room trying to breath, eat, and comprehend simple tasks. Gavin running around full of life, curious about things that have not yet become common place for him. Both at different ends of life, yet both very similar. We come into this world confused…we leave confused. Death, for the most part, effects those left, the ones watching you die, or taking care of you while you fall apart. You’ll be gone soon, to where ever you think you might go, and they’ll be left there to deal with it…not you. Raeanne’s family is on constant alert and guard, a lifestyle that would take a toll on anyone. My heart goes out to all of them and especially my mother-in-law Janice. She’s a true saint.

I found myself alone with grandma at one point and I sat down to say hello. I asked her how she was and she told me flat out,” not good”. Then she stopped and stared at me and asked, “how are you?”

I had no idea of what to say.

UPDATE: RIP Grandma…You will be missed, but thankfully you are in no more pain. It’s interesting the amount of Wright/Steffen’s that come in and out of this world the last week of July.