I recently watched something (trivia for anyone who can figure out where this came from) where I had the rare opportunity to be surprised by what a character said.

“Positive self deception is a normal and adventitious part of most people’s lives. People lie to themselves about three things. 1)They view themselves in implausibly positive ways. 2) They think they have far more control over their lives then they actually do. 3) They believe that the future will be better than the evidence of the present can possibly justify.”

That last part is the one that gets me. Telling yourself you’re great and that you’re in control is a no brainier…but the idea that we think each year will get better than the one we’re in now wasn’t something I was expecting. It makes complete sense…in the past 6 years I have worked tirelessly to make a career in film my way. Each year I thought would get better and better, and as long as I applied pressure and hard work, I would never go backwards. Such is not the case. I find myself at every Dec 31st saying, here’s to a better year next year…hope it’s better than last year. I find myself about to start my fourth feature film with very little indication from the outside world that next year will be any different, let alone better. After three feature films there is no indication that I have an audience, or any appetite for the brand of difficult drama I’m so enamored with making.

Positive self deception indeed.

The truth is, each year it’s getting tougher to make films with limited resources, it’s getting tougher to interest an audience that demands it’s stories mediocre, it’s tits huge, and it’s characters likable. Enter my wife, who recently challenged me to do just that…make my stories likable, with hooks to keep you watching and characters who are relateable. I’ve accepted that challenge, AND the fact that life is uncontrollable, I’m not as awesome as I think, and things can always get worse…although they might not.

The next film, White Creek, will be rolled out in a variety of ways, through a variety of venues. Stay tuned for videos, news updates, solo gallery shows, kickstarter campaigns, a short film, and ultimately…my fourth feature.

On a lighter note I will be at the Art Center of The Capital Region this Friday night to close my solo show Relative Velocity. Stop by and have a beer with me.:-) I want to thank the Arts Center, Colin Boyd, Sanford Mirling, Jake Winiski, and Ben Hillis for all the help. Couldn’t have done it without you guys and gals. There will be documentation up soon.

If you didn’t get a chance to check out my thesis show at the University Art Museum in May, the film version is being aired on WMHT (PBS) as part of the TVFilm show. There are extended interviews here, and the episode here…just in case you miss it on TV.

You’ll notice on the TVFilm blog there is the trailer to Orphaned. This is my third micro-budget feature film and I JUST finished it a few days ago. Some of you have gotten screeners and preview screenings. Let me know if you want to take a sneak peak…there is a price of admission however…feedback.

Speaking of micro-budget, I’m taking my column, The Micro-Budget Conversation, at Filmmaker Magazine on the road and I need your help. I’m working on putting together a SXSW panel on a culmination of subjects discussed on the blog and I need your help voting it in. Go to THIS LINK and vote. (warning…you may need to quickly create an account…but I super appreciate it:-) Voting determines 30 percent of the results. It’s about time us micro folks were properly represented at an awesome fest like SXSW!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned!
Cheers!
John

We need your help.

Right now we are crowdsourcing emotions/memories in hopes of getting a wide survey of humanity and not just our own little corner of the world. Engram’s emotion/memory component is key, and with your help we can make it a well rounded  representation of the human race.

Contribute here.

Stay tuned for a call to arms video, more info on how to contribute, and tons of news as we spend the summer getting ready for the first shoot in September.
And check out my interview on the Everything Film Show last week…we talk a bunch about the film and the state of micro-budget.

Cheers
John

PLUS an article! Thanks Mark!

Stay tuned!:-)

John

Another kick ass day! Thanks to the cast and crew.

Orphaned Day 11: 5X5 from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

[View with PicLens]

The Universal: Treats from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

The Universal: Lonesome from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

The Universal: Promo 1 from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

The Universal: Promo 2 from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

Orphaned entered it’s second week of fund raising and we’re already at 2 percent!! Thanks a million to our first 5 backers. You guys are going to make this film happen! If you haven’t checked it out go here to donate, or copy the link and pass it on to all your friends! Investment opportunities are also available…email me for more details.

cheers!
John

June 5th, 5-9PM will be the opening reception for the show, Tomorrow’s Masters Today. This show is at the Albany Insitutue of Art and History and part of its Gala on the 11th. It looks like a great show…with a ton of great work…from great artists. One of my limited edition stump prints got in…I’m ecstatic to be included and I hope it sells at the silent auction; raising some money for the Institute. A bunch of recent MFA grads and a few of my classmates are in as well. Congrats to them and the rest of the artists!

The June Troy Night Out (June 25th) will be the opening reception of the Fence Show at the Arts Center of the Capital Region in Troy. I usually enter this every year, not only as a way of showing new work, but to make sure my membership is up to date.:-) This is an opportunity for me to try out new work on a large audience every year…it’s an extremely important show/resource to this area and I encourage any and all folks to enter. It’s always fun, and with Ian Berry from the Tang as curator this year…I can’t wait to see the Fence Select Show in July (and see if I can make the cut.;-) Submit your work at the Arts Center June 13th-15th.

Stay tuned ALL SUMMER for new work being made…and hopefully more shows.:-)

cheers!
John

David, Elliott, Kurdt, and Mark from John W. Yost on Vimeo.

On March 6th, 2010 Mark Linkous, the lead singer of a band called Sparklehorse, (look it up for sure) shot himself in the heart outside a friend’s house. He had been drinking all day and had a history of drug abuse, depression, and alcoholism.

When I heard the news I cried.

I cried hard for a few minutes while listening to his song, “It’s a wonderful life” and looking out over the Hudson River from my office window.

It IS a wonderful life for some, and for others it can be rough; for some it’s downright unbearable. It’s funny how some folks, in some of the worst situations in the world, can stay optimistic. While some of us that don’t have it so bad, want to wrap their lips around a shotgun. But in both cases…human emotion is the only thing that’s real. It can warp time, outlooks, and good situations to bad.

I think the reason that the death of folks like Mark Linkous and Kurt Cobain hit hard, is the same reason that some people think Elvis is still alive. These singers, writers, and artists whose work have a relevant honesty and emotion seem like lighthouse tenders. People in the dark that you can relate to. We engage with their work and for a moment it is a wonderful life, it is doable, and someone out there, other than you, is in on it too. Sometimes that makes all the difference.

So I thought for a while and made the video below. It’s meant to be projected in large space all at once…with all four channels split onto their own screen. The audio would also preferably be 5.1.

It would also loop forever.

I think I made it as an attempt to understand, and to wish them back to life. Just like with those who think Elvis is still alive…if I believe hard enough…maybe they’re still alive.